Why Adults Sometimes Regress in Learning Spaces
I have been wanting to write about delegates for a while. They intrigue me. I often wonder what they make of me – their coach, trainer, and facilitator – who they learn to trust, even over a brief two- or three-day period.
They intrigue me with their behaviour, which can regress once in the learning space. Twelve adults, often 25 years plus, behaving in a childlike manner and devolving their responsibilities to me.
I ponder: do I let this happen? Does my communication encourage this behaviour? Or is it inherent in people that, when they come into a workshop environment, they behave as if they are back at school?
I suspect it’s a blend of both, which means there are some things we can take responsibility for as facilitators.
Setting Up and Contracting with the Group
Encourage learners to acknowledge at the start of the workshop that learning is their responsibility. This can be achieved through a quick conversation around the same time as outcome setting and agendas.
The conversation goes something like this:
- “Hands up who has learned something new recently?”
- “What was it like to learn something new?”
- “What did you notice as you went through the learning – in your head, your body, emotionally?”
- “How did you react to the new?”
- “What was it like when you realised you had learned something new?”
Anchor this with a simple message:
“To learn as adults we may have to unpick beliefs, behaviours, and thoughts that we have around this topic. To go back to a place of conscious incompetence can be uncomfortable for some of us. The uncomfortableness may express itself through our voices as we challenge the new, question what we are learning, or express frustration and irritation in our tone.
We may notice a physical shift as we process a new idea – some of you may get a fluttering in your stomachs, an ache in your head. This is called learning. Sit with it, notice it, and go with it.”
Our Language Matters
It’s easy for facilitators to accidentally paralyse a group through the misuse of their language. Some obvious examples are talking too quickly, using words that don’t relate to the group’s world, or adopting an unhelpful tone of voice. There are other things we do with our language that are unconscious.
I vs We
- “What I want you to do now is…”
- “I am going to get you to come to this flipchart and…”
- “I have a task for you to do…”
When you use the language of “I,” you, the facilitator, become the focus of the task. This can have an unconscious jarring effect on individuals, taking them back to a time as a child in a classroom where the teacher was telling them what to do.
Delivering Praise
When people are sharing ideas or feeding back thoughts, it’s easy to say:
- “That’s a great idea.”
- “Very good.”
- “Love it.”
- “Awesome.”
However, who are we to decide whether someone’s idea is good or right or amazing?
Next time you hear yourself using these words, try:
- “That’s interesting, tell me more about…”
- “I’m curious what’s behind that thought…”
- “Yes.” (and nod)
Delegates’ behaviour in learning spaces can reveal a lot about group dynamics and facilitation practice. By setting expectations early and paying attention to our language, we can create spaces that encourage adults to fully own their learning experience.
Learn more about designing and delivering workshops: https://www.schooloffacilitation.com/classes/design/